Over the years, I have been involved with several different paranormal groups and projects. This has given me an opportunity to explore the unknown with a variety of different people and grow into who I am as an investigator. In addition, my paranormal community has grown substantially with random people from my past popping in to say “hi” or request my assistance from time to time.

There are many reasons why we may move on from a group or project. For me, I have moved to another state, been “fired” via text, had a group collapse under the weight of a pandemic, and most recently decided to create my own research group. Not every situation was good but I can find something good from every experience. As I continue to move through yet another transition period, I wanted to share some thoughts for anyone who struggles with the idea of changing where they stand within the paranormal community. Hopefully these thoughts can be helpful.

• Don’t let go of everything and everyone you have met thus far. While these ties may feel fragile right now, you never know when your path may cross back by someone you once knew. Burning bridges should be reserved for serious problems. This includes psychological and/or physical abuse, theft, criminal activity, malicious dishonesty, and so on. 
• Take some time to reflect on what was good about the group or project you are leaving. What do you want to keep as part of your process in the future? What qualities did you appreciate about your fellow investigators that you hope to carry forward? 99% of the time, you can find at least one positive thing about a situation. 
• Ask yourself what problems you encountered with the group or project you are leaving. Nothing is perfect and there are always problems, so be honest about what the challenges were. Can these be avoided in the future? Are there changes you want to make before you commit to something new?
• Talk to someone not related to the situation so you can get a non-biased reaction. Processing the good and the bad with someone you trust can really help you identify problems and solutions that you wouldn’t have recognized on your own. Plus, talking to someone not involved in the situation allows you to see things in a different light. 
• Recognize that you are not perfect and that your personality or way of doing things may not have fit the situation. Granted, sometimes people just drift apart but it’s good to recognize how and why that happens. Being honest about who you are and your limits is often difficult but necessary for growth. We can’t change if we don’t acknowledge the issues.
• Ask yourself, “why did I join the paranormal originally?” This is a VERY important question. It gets to the “why am I in this situation” part of the equation. 
• Now ask yourself, “have my goals and/or intentions changed?” This gives you your next step. Knowing what your current goals and intentions are will help you move forward. 
• Give yourself space. If you don’t have clear answers to the questions above yet, that’s ok. Everyone moves through change at their own pace. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your former community. Recognize that the stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So if you feel any of these things, that is normal. (Note: these feelings are not always in the same order and some may crop up spontaneously when you least expect it.) 

With all of that said, I hope you have gained something of value from your experience in the paranormal community and you choose not to abandon ship completely. There are no perfect situations or people; just flawed people doing their best to understand the world we share. When you eventually move forward, I hope it is with your head held high and a commitment to be the best version of yourself with a collection of experiences to help light your way. 

Until next time, take care of yourself and Happy Hunting!